Itz Holistically Wholesome

Today, I decided to get a bit more personal about my life since I realized that I have not fully allowed myself to grieve too much about the loss of my babies back in 2017. I have always wanted to be a mom and also thought it nice to have twins but never in my wildest dreams have triplets crossed my mind.

So when my husband and I decided to get pregnant, which would be the first for him and the second for me, we were excited about adding to our family and finally giving my daughter a sibling she had been asking for for years.

Preparing my body for baby

I have always been health conscious; however, I wanted to do a bit more healthwise when we decided to get pregnant. So, I began to eat way better, exercise more, and even place my mental space in a condition to ensure that I had the best internal environment to grow a baby. I also encourage hubby to avoid sweets and junk food. In addition, I began taking prenatal vitamins and got myself an ovulation kit, haha. Hubby and I wanted a summer baby and thought it incredible if the baby was born in July, which was his birthday and our anniversary. So, for this to happen, we set our eyes on October to be pregnant. Fortunately, it did not take much effort, and we got pregnant on our first attempt.

In November 2016, I started to feel incredibly ill, and my back hurt like crazy. We decided to do a pregnancy test, and it was positive. Hooray, However, due to the intensity of how ill I felt, my hubby took me to urgent care to ensure all was well. I did a pregnancy test to confirm my pregnancy, and the doctor told me my HCG was incredibly High. We also learned that my due date was July 20, 2017, my hubby’s birthday. He was beyond excited. They did not do too much but recommended that I see an OBGYN as soon as possible.

Finding out I was pregnant with triplets

The next day I began searching for an OBGYN that I could see in a short space of time and found one that was able to see me the following day. When I got there, I completed the necessary registration, did a pregnancy test, and was soon in a room waiting for an ultrasound. Mind you, at this time; I was feeling horrible. Hubby did not come in simultaneously, so I was alone. The technician placed the gel on my stomach and began checking what was happening inside. She said you are indeed pregnant. She then asked if I had done IVF or whether the pregnancy was spontaneous. I told her that it was the latter. I then asked why when she told me I was not having one but three babies. I was dumbfounded, but I managed to say, excuse me, a few seconds later. So she showed me the monitor while explaining that I had a singleton in a sac all by itself and identical twins sharing the other. Again, I was mind-blown; I asked her to get my husband, and when he got the news, I think he froze. The doctor then came and did further checks that the pregnancy was high risk, and as such, I would need to find an OBGYN that specialized in this type of pregnancy because they did not. The doctor also told us they were concerned about the twins because they shared a sac. It was bad enough that I was shocked, but my anxiety kicked in after hearing that. I felt scared, to be honest.

The picture below is of my first sonogram

Our quest for an OBGYN who specializes in a high-risk pregnancy

Honestly, I did not know where to start with my search, and I was not feeling up to the task of searching for one. Thank God that a very close friend of my husband recommended someone he knew from personal experience. By the following week, we had an appointment. On our first visit, I had to do a sonogram, and the babies seemed to be doing fine. Interestingly, they all had perfect heartbeats, and even though Dr. Bell, my OBGYN had expressed her concern for the twins as well, I was hopeful because they both had stronger heartbeats than the other baby (singleton). If my memory serves me right, I was about five or six weeks pregnant.
Nausea continues to haunt me, and I could barely eat or keep anything down.

On top of that, I was home one night around 8:00 am when I started bleeding. Hubby was not there, and when I called him in a state of panic, he called the ambulance because he would not be home soon. The ambulance took me to the hospital, and after hours of waiting, I was finally seen around 12:00 am. I was livid, but what could I do at night when my doctor’s office was closed. Thankfully, the nurse did an ultrasound, and all three babies were doing great. I was sent home around 2:00 am. I do not recall being told by anyone the reason for the bleeding.

After that, I had to go back to see my OBGYN, who informed me to rest and take it easy during the pregnancy. I was to return for another follow-up visit during week nine of my pregnancy. During this time, I was attending school but had to stop a few weeks before I was able to complete the program.

My family and I were excited about having triplets, but we did not get much time to absorb the moment due to how rough it all started out. I was very hopeful that they would make it, but a part of me could not help but prepare for the worst.

Hubby and I were searching for a home during this time to purchase. However, the news of the triplets caused us to change our plans because now we needed more rooms. My husband was a mess; I think he was scared out of his wits.

Nine weeks visit/Loss of twins

I did not see my regular ob-gyn but was sent to another location for a more detailed check of the fetuses. Unfortunately, my husband could not make it due to work, so his close friend took me. As the specialist examined me, she had a concerned look, and instantly, I knew something was wrong. She then explained that all three babies were there but only one heartbeat. My heart hit the floor; that moment we hoped would never come finally came. No amniotic fluids were around the twins, and they no longer had a heartbeat. They explained that it might have been a placental abruption. As they grew in the same space, it may have gotten too much to house both. Even though my doctor told me to expect the unexpected, my heart broke, and I cried. It doesn’t matter whether one loses a child or suffers a miscarriage; it hurts real bad.

I then asked her what would happen from here; she informed me that my body would take care of it all on its own by absorbing the fetuses. So by my next visit, the absorption had occurred; in it, the place was my singleton, who was doing exceptionally well.

I did not allow myself to grieve for too long. I had a baby to think about, and I did not want to cause further complications. I desired a healthy, happy baby. I also felt ungrateful because while I had lost two babies, God was faithful to allow me to keep one, and I was eternally thankful for that. I decided to trust God’s providence in our lives because only he knew why they could not come to be. I remembered placing the picture of my remaining baby between my bible and praying every day for God to bring him to full term. I must admit that I was a nervous wreck throughout the rest of my pregnancy, but faith and prayer brought me through. We had a beautiful baby boy on July 9, 2017. Hubby felt a little crushed that the baby did not come on his birthday.

Five years later

Today, I look at my gorgeous son and feel blessed to have him with us. I call him my three-in-one.On July 9, he turned five years old, and I gave all the glory to God.