Itz Holistically Wholesome

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

Grief has a way of stopping time—of pausing everything you thought was sure and pulling you into a space where only love and loss seem to matter. As I reflect on a recent season of my life, I am reminded that while love may not prevent heartbreak, it does help us heal through it. Because true love—God’s love—is never bitter. It does not leave room for hate, even when relationships change, even when lives are lost.

Years ago, as a young girl, I met someone who would become a significant part of my journey. Al was my friend, my first love, and later the father of my beautiful daughter, Aliyah. We shared life together in a season filled with dreams, growth, and love. Though life eventually led us down different paths, we found a way to maintain friendship and mutual respect, centered around our shared love for our daughter.

On March 13, 2025, the unexpected happened—Al passed away. It was a loss that shook not only my world, but more deeply, my daughter’s. Watching her grieve the loss of her father broke my heart in ways I cannot fully express. I grieved not just for myself, but for her—a young woman facing the harsh reality of mortality at such a formative time in her life.

To compound our sorrow, just weeks later on April 15, 2025, Al’s mother—my daughter’s beloved grandmother—also passed away, just days before her son’s burial. It felt like a double storm, one that threatened to overwhelm us completely. Yet in the midst of this whirlwind of grief, we found strength—not in ourselves, but in the sustaining grace of God.

We clung to each other, shared stories, spoke their names often, and kept their memories alive in our hearts. I saw a strength rise in my daughter that reminded me of God’s promise to be near to the brokenhearted.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

I won’t pretend the road has been easy. There were moments when I didn’t know what to say, how to pray, or even how to breathe through the weight of it all. But God was present—even in the silence, even in the sorrow. His Word became an anchor for my soul.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

Through it all, I’ve learned that grief doesn’t mean forgetting—it means remembering with love. It means carrying those memories forward and allowing God to use even our deepest pain to bring healing.

To my daughter: you are a reflection of the love that once was, and you carry the legacy of your father and grandmother with such grace and strength. Their lives mattered. Their memory lives on through you.

To those who are grieving: lean into God. Cry if you must. Talk about your loved ones. Don’t rush the process. Allow your grief to become a path toward healing, and let God walk with you every step of the way.

In the days following their passing, we were held up by the hands of those who surrounded us with love. Friends, family, church members, and even those we didn’t know closely—thank you. Your prayers, kind words, and quiet acts of encouragement helped us find light in an incredibly dark time.

To those who supported us:
Your presence, whether near or from afar, meant more than words can express. We felt your love deeply, and it gave us strength when our hearts were weary. Thank you.

To my dear Pastor, Courtney Wilks:
Thank you for being there for us at the funeral and beyond. Your compassion and unwavering support touched our hearts. I want everyone to know just how inspiring and incredibly supportive you are. Your presence brought peace in the storm, and your ministry continues to be a light in my life. I am truly grateful for you.

To my husband, thank you for allowing space to grief and for remembrance. You’re understanding is a part of God’s healing in my life.

Life is fragile. Love deeply. Forgive freely. And above all, hold on to hope.

“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord.” – Jeremiah 30:17

Rest in peace, Al. Rest in peace, Mama Pelle. Your memory lives on, and your love surrounds us still.

With love and purpose,
Tomika Chance
Itz Holistically Wholesome