Itz Holistically Wholesome

This song, “He Didn’t Throw the Clay Away,” speaks volumes about my life before Jesus and the woman I am today.

If God is not in what we do, it’s destined to fall apart. You see, sin is deception, an illusion that looks good on the outside but rots from within. The enemy paints disobedience as desirable. He lifts us up on false promises, and when we least expect it, he pulls the rug, then, everything begins to crumble. Why? Because it was built on sand, the foundation was not firm.

I was 28 years old when I uprooted my life, leaving behind everything familiar to start over in an unfamiliar place. My heart was shattered. I was filled with disappointment, confusion, and turmoil. I couldn’t understand the sudden downward spiral. I thought I had it all figured out. I had met the love of my life young, and oh, he loved me, and for the most part, things seemed good. We had a daughter and were planning a beautiful life together. But slowly, everything started to fall apart.

No matter how hard we tried to repair the damage, the cracks only widened. Eventually, I had to listen to my heart—it was time to let go.

So there I was: in a new place, a broken-hearted single mom, starting over. I had no idea how to navigate life alone. But I had to learn, and quickly, for my daughter’s sake. That first year was messy, but it was also the beginning of something new.

In my brokenness, I cried out to God day after day. Like David in Psalm 42:2, “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?” And again in verse 3, “My tears have been my meat day and night.”

I mourned the love I had lost, the life I once imagined, the dreams that slipped through my fingers, but deep down, I knew: God was trying to get my attention. He had been for a long time. But I was distracted. I had fallen into idolatry—anything that took priority over Him.

To save me, because I asked Him to, He had to break me. He had to tear down every false altar I had erected in my life, he had to remove people from my life even the ones I loved dearly, he had to silence the noise in my mind, drown out the lies, I kept listening to, and change my environment. And so I broke. I fell on the rock Christ Jesus and was broken into many pieces (Matthew 21:44). Like a dog who lost her bone, I came running to Christ. At that point, nothing and no one could deter me.

With loving arms, Jesus received me, all my broken pieces, my regrets, my sins born from disobedience. And He began to put me back together, he molded and remake me. I wish I could say I made it easy for Him, but I didn’t. I added more scars along the way. But like David, I always returned to the altar of repentance. I cried out for healing from my faults and my propensity to sin.

And still—He molded me.

Again and again.

Because nothing is ever wasted with God.

Over time, I began to notice something: I was changing. I was gaining strength, confidence, and no longer needed validation from others. My faith was growing. I started to pass the tests thrown my way. At the forefront of my mind, echoed the words of Joseph in Genesis 39:9, “How can I commit this sin against God?” And yes, I’ve been tested. But Jesus never let me go.

The more He molded me, the more my heart responded to Him.

Today, I stand as a vessel of honor, not because I earned it, but because Jesus didn’t throw this clay away.

Call to Action:

It doesn’t matter how broken you are—Jesus can fix you.

It doesn’t matter how many mistakes you’ve made—Jesus is always willing to mold and remake you, if you let Him.

Surrender. Let go of what’s keeping you in bondage. Turn your heart to the Potter—and let Him make something beautiful from the pieces.

What season are you in? I’d love to hear your story. Feel free to share or reach out.