Itz Holistically Wholesome

Are you striving for an overall healthy existence but cannot seem to get along with your spouse, family members, self, and friends? Are you constantly fighting, angry, abused, or fearful? Are you in a relationship that is so toxic that you cannot even breathe at times, and you feel trapped? If this is your current situation, then maybe it is time to do something about it because having a healthy relationship is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle.

Too often, when we think about getting healthy and doing particular things to change or improve our lives for the better, we turn our focus on food and exercise. I guess this is because we can physically see the extra love angles and the bulging stomach when we look in the mirror. Other times, we can no longer fit into our favorite clothes, and just walking a few short distances leaves us panting for breath. So, of course, it has to be how we eat and our relatively sedentary lifestyle. Consequently, we set out to eat better and become more active, and if we are determined enough and consistent, we manage to get there. Yet, somehow we do not feel as great as we hoped and even though we continue to focus on remaining active and eating a balanced diet, our weight and everything else is like a roller coaster. Nothing seems to be working, and it feels like we are at a dead-end, and we become frustrated. My friends, this is a sign you look deeper.

Did you know that not just food or lack of exercise can make us unhealthy? There are several other factors, and one of them has to do with the relationships that we form with others and ourselves. We have to be careful of how we see ourselves, who we let into our lives, and who we allow stay in our lives. For example, we sometimes meet someone, be it a boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend. And indeed, this person portrays qualities that we like, so we decide to let them in and give them a try. That’s great!

Further down the line, their real character begins to surface, and the once charming, loving, and awesome person becomes the devil in the flesh. Yet, we chose to live with the abuse, disrespect, constant negative criticism, infidelity, among others, instead of accepting that it is not working. We tell ourselves that this is not a healthy environment but struggle to walk away. Other times, we know with every fiber of our being that this person is terrible for us because their energy does not seem right, but we cannot muster up enough strength to call it quits and move on. So instead, we allow ourselves to second guess and find the slightest reason to keep them around, especially when we have become emotionally attached to that person and desire intimacy and love.

No, I know that certain relationships are hard to let go of because of how long you have been with the person, how much you have invested, are married, have children, or whatever the reason. And there are some things that we cannot change, like our family. However, there are steps that you can take to make the situation better for yourself, but choosing to live that way will affect your health and prevent you from your goal of having an overall healthy life. So please do something about it!

Here are two ways your relationship may become a hindrance to a better lifestyle.

1. You Fail To Love Yourself:- Self-love is essential and healthy as long as you do not become selfish and individualistic in the process. You have to get to that place where you are delighted with who you are. You must tell yourself that you are enough and is worthy of love and appreciation. The trouble is that if you are not convinced that you are indeed excellent, you will not believe it when it comes from someone else. And not because you are not where you want to be in life does not mean you are a failure; You will get there. Do not look at others and their accomplishments and begin to measure or compare yourself to them. This is a dangerous practice, so check yourself before you wreck yourself. You will peek in your rightful season, so celebrate yourself because you are doing great. Now tell yourself, I love you.

2. Toxic relationships with spouse/boyfriend/friend:- Listen, I am coming from a real personal place with this one. You see, I am about health reformation, and I believe that a lifestyle is holistic; you cannot choose where to improve and where not to improve; it is a whole. Now I thought I was on track to become my most healthy self. But there was a time when my life felt so toxic, and hubby and I could not see eye to eye. Even though I was eating well and exercising, I felt heavy-laden, frustrated, and tired. I found myself complaining a lot, and I became annoyed with myself. No amount of workout could relieve me of that feeling. One day, I talked to my youngest sister about my frustration relationship-wise. She said to me; you know that all the exercise you are doing, no matter how healthy you eat, will not be that helpful health-wise if you are feeling like this. That was it for me; I needed to hear that. So I slowly began to change the relationship dynamics with my husband and others. I refuse to argue, get in a rage or entertain anything that will cause me to become frustrated and or stressed. Since I needed peace and contentment, I listened more and talked through things maturely. Over time, I started to feel much better and happier. Sometimes, all it takes is a calm spirit and effective communication. If the situation can be fixed or improved, do it for your health.

Furthermore, if you are in any relationship in which is abusive physically, mentally, financially, educationally, and emotionally, this could affect your health goals. Also, take that time to ensure that you are not doing the same to someone else. So often, we fail to see our defects but are quick to highlight the shortcomings in others. You know what love is, and you have the right to a safe, healthy environment. Do not sacrifice yourself for something that is of no good for you. It will weigh you down and cripple any chances of becoming your best self. A good spouse, family member, or friend will speak life into your soul so that you can grow and bloom into a beautiful flower. And that, my friends, is what you deserve. 

Finally, love yourself, love others and speak positively. Avoid toxic and stressful situations like the plague. Accept only the best for you and choose happiness. Never allow anyone to make you feel undeserving. Healthy relationships are crucial to a healthy lifestyle.